~ My Mysterious Mondays List ~
The Last One In August, 2009

(And, fyi, the mysteries need not have happened
ON a Monday, we are just designating Mondays
as the day to speak about these awesome, mind-
blowing mysteries, and in the process we might
save the Universe...)


* I have been wondering all manner of strange things this week, which has a lot to do with my current state of body and mind which you can read about over on Maitri's Heart, my other blog that I updated last night. Bear with me because this may go from the ridiculous to the sublime -- well, I'm not sure that it will come close to the sublime, but I'm almost certain some of it will be ridiculous. Let me start with toes.

I am one of those people whose 2nd toe is longer than the big toe. I've been told that that means something but I'll be goshdarned if I can remember what. I mean, really, all of our toes and fingers are different lengths and sizes. Why does that second toe somehow change our fate and the whole tenor of our lives? If this is true I would like someone to write in and tell me why, what this means, and if the meaning is fractured like my feet have been, having had serious surgeries on my feet, then falling down the stairs and shattering them (My doctor's word for it, not mine... He said, "Honey, you didn't just break your feet, you shattered them."). He wasn't just whistlin' Dixie either. I couldn't walk for a year and my left big toe will never bend again, and my feet, like various other parts of me, have turned out cattywompus and lopsided. I'd like to know how the 2nd toe theory is affected with these mysterious things factored in?

* I find it mysterious that places like grocery stores keep the air conditioner low enough to give you frostbite during the 100 degree weather in summer. It's foolishness to have to carry a sweater with you into the grocery store and then as soon as you step outside again your glasses immediately fog up and you run someone down with your cart. It can't be good for anybody to go back and forth between heatstroke to frostbite and back out again into the former. What were they thinking? I think it is a plot to make you do a 180 and have to go back in for cold medicine, but that's just my theory and I haven't found a way to prove it yet.

* I found it extremely mysterious and unseemly when, having grown up in the midwest and then spending over a decade in the Blue Ridge mountains where we actually had 4 seasons, that to drop down only one state it would be so warm at least 9-10 months out of the year that you can get your Christmas tree in shorts. That's just wrong. I'd speak to God about it but I think he has more important things on his mind these days. But while my family in the midwest is snowed and iced in, I have been outside gardening in January in 70 degree weather. Now, I've sort of liked that part, though I'm loathe to admit it, what with the poor family having icicles dripping off their noses while I'm planting seeds, but I've wondered if I were going straight to hell when I talked to them on the phone and they were moaning and depressed because the weather was dreadful, and then they'd ask, "How's your weather there?" I start fidgeting at that point, cross my fingers behind my back and say, ahem, "It's cold here too, brrrrr.... why, they're predicting snow any minute."

I grew up Catholic and I'm sure that must be at least a "venial" sin and I'll spend time in purgatory for it, but not being Catholic anymore and having no one to go to confession to over it, I think I'm doomed. You have to be more forward thinking about these things. It's too late now though. I haven't gone to the Catholic Church since I was 20 and now I'm 55. I think that means I'd be in the confessional for 3 years trying to wipe the slate clean, and be out in a pew afterwards saying "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" for the rest of my life to make up for it. I just look heavenward and say, "I'm sorry about everything, even the things I've forgotten, but don't send me to purgatory because I've already been doing a kind of penance for some long time now. I have to go outside in 100 degree weather, when things smell worse than normal, and do 'Poody Duty' for five dogs several times a day, year round, no matter what the weather. Phew. If you don't faint from the heat you will from the smell. That will wipe at least part of the slate clean, won't it?" I'm so confused about these things.

* I find it mysterious that a fairly intelligent woman, such as myself, could have started something called "Mysterious Mondays," and then only the third week in do nothing but bellyaching and moaning not to mention blathering on about the weather, and that's the best I can do. I feel the need to direct you, once again, to the post I wrote last night on my Maitri's Heart blog. I think I have written this in my sleep (again, refer to, you got it, Maitri's Heart.) I'm embarrassed to look so bad at this only three weeks in, but I guess some weeks are more mysterious than others. I'll try harder next week. If I can. If I remember. If I haven't moved to Mars. These days, no one has a clue when they wake up in the morning where they will go to bed that night. Now that's mysterious if you ask me. At least I hope so. Or perhaps no one will notice. That's the ticket. Maybe the readers will be sleeping when they read this too. I think I'll go to sleep now and read with you...

Not so...